There Are Men You Date, and Men You Marry

By: T.S Johnson

They say you can’t turn a ho into a housewife.

Well, you can’t turn a hoe into a husband either.

Ultimately there are men you date and there are men you marry. Unfortunately, too many women don’t know the difference and are paying dearly for their ignorance. There was a Jazmine Sullivan song that illustrated this point perfectly. From “I’m in Love with Another Man”:

If I could… could forget him
I would… please believe me
And I know that I should throw the towel in
But baby it’s not… not that easy
You treat me so much better than him
And if I was sane there’d be no competition
But… but I’m in love with someone else
And I’m so sorry
I’m in love with another man
And I know it aint right

I can’t explain why it’s him and not you
But at the end of the day baby I just don’t want to
Cause he aint no doctor
And we always seem to fight, he got the perfect body
And sometimes he don’t even treat me right
Oh but when I’m with him, but when I’m with him
When I’m with him, aint nobody else like it
I’m so sorry baby that I have to do this to you
But I can’t go on pretending…
Cause I love him, I love him
And I’m so sorry… do you hear me?

Who the hell leaves a doctor for some guy who doesn’t treat you right, you argue with, and isn’t going anywhere? What…because you love him…yeah…okay. That isn’t love Sullivan is singing about. That’s lust mixed with a healthy dose of stupidity.

The kind of “love” Sullivan is singing about will have you knocked up, alone, with an STD while your man is off “loving” someone else. No woman in her right mind leaves the man who has been good to her, takes good care of her, is looking to marry her for the guy who the only has the “perfect body” and can the ability to blow your back out.

The difference between being a grown woman and still thinking like a child is knowing everything that looks good (or feels good) to you ain’t good for you. If you’re thinking long term, you know Mr. Dependable always wins out over Mr. Feel Good. As a matter of fact – it wouldn’t even be a competition.

Grown women know, even if you sleep with the thug, you don’t break up with the good guy. You get thug-boy out your system and you marry your man. While I don’t advocate cheating, I advocate stupidity even less. To any woman who would find herself in this situation, I’d say: Grow the hell up. Your future is worth more than a good lay.